Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
