Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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