You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
