GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
