How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
