I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
