she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
