i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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