so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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