I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
