I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize