Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
