Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
