Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
