Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
