hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
