My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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