Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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