I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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