I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
