sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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