I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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