Don't worry. I has chaperone.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
