What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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