Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
