she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
birth control should be required to get into college
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
