i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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