That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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