oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
