Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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