you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
