ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
