She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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