there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
