I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
