do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
