i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
