I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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