In the future we'll all be gay
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
