ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
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