I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
