dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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