so let's talk penis.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
