I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i can't believe i had my finger in that
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
