sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
