You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
