my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
