need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
