i would punch a child for taco bell
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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