if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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